/I'm an emotional soul, living in a rational mind/
Hi, if you've read my introduction, you would know I studied psychology but doing tattoos now.
I still am struggling with identifying myself as an artist.
But one of my very good friends once told me, "putting your art in front of people, is not really about how good it is, it's about how much permission you give it to yourself and to your works'
So here I am, presenting my paintings to you.
This series of works is about "me".
Have you ever felt that way, having a lot of emotions but then your mind just telling you to suppress it?
Growing up in an Asian environment, I learned to or was framed to be like that.
I thought it's a good thing, because then you behave "properly" in front of others.
only when I was in my late 20's, I realized I was too suppressed that I didn't really know how to feel.
Then I started meeting my therapist, growing some basic sense back is a very weird process.
As if I were a baby, learning how to walk.
These paintings are showing how my emotions get suppressed, exploded then came into peace.
It's not a cycle that follows the same sequence all the time.
Sometimes everything comes all together, sometimes I only experience one part.
I like to use soft and bright colors to express my sorrow.
Not beacuse it's light, it's still quite heavy to me.
But somehow I want to see it as a growing pain, which it brings beautiful outcome to my life.
Hope you enjoy:)
/Between Black & White/
Often, my emotions are stuck in between my very "either black or white' thoughts.
No room for breathing,
My emotions are squeezed in between
Emotions are getting more and more intense, I need to let them out.
But my mind is still trying to control them
There's a bit of rational in my mind, still.
Still following through the rational thinking to channel my emotions.
/I See Red/
I see anger, frustration, sadness... all the negative emotions
Feels like they are eating me up
As if, I am kept in a box, where is filled up with these extreme thoughts and emotions.
I am drowning
at the same time, I screamed, attacked...
try to protect myself from everything
I can't hear anything.
As if, I am sitting in this gray area and turned off my consciousness.
I see so many things happening around me, like a movie.
But I am an audience, a third person.
Getting some sense back, I can feel again
Knowing that I was feeling hurt, fragile
Putting my guard down, showing my wound to others
It feels quite naked to open myself up
But also quite refreshing to let eveything out
/Within The Tranquility/
I find this peaceful place.
It's quiet here, where I can let the emotions flow, not trying to control them or emphasize them.
Just cuddling and showing myself tons of love.
Feeling that I am surrounded by tranquility.